English+-+what+a+language!

 1) The bandage was **__wound__** around the **__wound.__**
 * Check these words (homonyms) in a dictionary ( dictionary.com)to see how the pronunciation changes, depending on their part of speech or meaning. **

2) The farm was used to **__produce produce__**.

3) The dump was so full that it had to **__refuse__** more **__refuse__**.

4) We must **__polish__** the **__Polish__** furniture.

5) He could **__lead__** if he would get the **__lead__** out.

6) The soldier decided to **__desert__** his dessert in the **__desert.__**

7) Since there is no time like the **__present__**, he thought it was time to **__present__** the **__present__ .**

8) A **__bass__** (fish) was painted on the head of the **__bass__** drum.

9) When shot at, the **__dove dove__** into the bushes.

10) I did not **__object__** to the **__object.__**

11) The insurance was **__invalid__** for the **__invalid (person).__**

12) There was a **__row__** among the oarsmen about how to **__row__**.

13) They were too **__close__** to the door to **__close__** it.

14) The buck **__does__** funny things when the **__does__** are present.

15) A seamstress and a **__sewer__** fell down into a **__sewer__** line..

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his **__sow__** to **__sow.__**

17) The **__wind__** was too strong to **__wind__** the sail.

18) Upon seeing the **__tear__** in the painting I shed a **__tear.__**

19) I had to **__subject__** the **__subject__** to a series of tests.

20) How can I **__intimate__** this to my most **__intimate__** friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ? 

**You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is **__'UP.' __ It's easy to understand __ UP __, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake __UP __ ?  At a meeting, why does a topic come __ UP __ ? Why do we speak __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> and why are the officers __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> for election and why is it __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __ <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">to the secretary to write __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> a report <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">? <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">We call __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> our friends. And we use it to brighten __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> a room, polish __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> the silver; we warm __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> the leftovers and clean __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> the kitchen. We lock __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> the house and some guys fix __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __ <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">trouble, line __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> for tickets, work __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> an appetite, and think <span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed <span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">is special <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">. <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">A drain must be opened __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> because it is stopped <span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">. <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">We open __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> a store in the morning but we close it __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> about __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">! <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">, <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">look the word __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __ <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">almost 1/4th of the page and can add __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> to about thirty definitions. If you are __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> to it, you might try building __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> a list of the many ways __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> is used. It will take __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> a lot of your time, but if you don't give __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">, <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> you may wind __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;"> UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">... <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">. <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">.

<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">, <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">for now my time is __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">, so........it is time to shut __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">! <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">

<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">Now it's __<span style="color: red; font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 24pt;">UP __<span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"> to you what you do with this page! <span style="font-family: "Century Gothic","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">